Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Raising happiness

The book Raising happiness presents some interesting and insightful ideas about happiness.
First of all children cannot be happy if the parents aren't happy, so parents should take care of themselves if they want happier children. This includes taking time for yourself, taking care of each other, learning to manage conflicts better.
Children need a network of kind support to flourish, from parents and family to neighbours and friends. Also kindness is a major source of happiness.
Success is driven a lot by effort, so parents should praise effort not outcome in a growth mind-set.
One can actively focus on gratitude, forgiveness and optimism, which lead to a happier disposition.
Children need to learn emotions, and parents can help them by empathizing, labelling and validating.
Children respond better to requests when parents show empathy, offer meaningful rationales and use non-controlling language.
Self-discipline can be taught using games that teach self-regulation, can be improved by self-talk, self distracting and reduced stress.
Mindfulness (staying aware of the present) and meditation (keeping your mind relaxed and focused) significantly improve happiness. Mindfulness is actually something that children do better than parents most of the time during play.
Rats give up addiction when placed in a very good environment, without counselling. Likewise we should try give children an interesting and engaging environment for them to explore and free play.
And all can be brought together in the simple act of eating dinner together.
I think a "good" life cannot be an unhappy one, so learning to use these practical skills will improve your and your children lives.

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